Mmmm...nothing wraps my day up more perfectly than relaxing with a cool beverage on the back porch after having just completed some yard/home related chores, the sun hanging low in the sky like some overripe fruit forgotten on the branch. Fat lazy sun beams saunter down from on high to warm my entire body. I incorrectly asserted the last truly nice day had come and gone just a few short weeks ago. Today, wonderfully warm rays kept me outside for most of the day in shorts and a t-shirt, when just one day ago I was scarfed and hatted. Last tendrils of summer lingering about to tease us, always checking to see if we are prepared, hats and raincoats on the rack by the door, sunglasses and flip flops next to the coat rack.

As the temperature continues to trend negatively and the clouds become ever more present, any amount of sunshine, however it arrives, with a chill wind whipping the clouds across the sky or interspersed between violent bursts of cold rain, is like a glass of water to a man dying of dehydration.

Nothing kills the warm fuzzy buzz of an afternoon to myself in the sun then the threat of having to mow the lawn. What an absolutely horrible thing to do, fire up the exhaust bucket and walk behind it for thirty minutes inhaling a whole host of carcinogens and volatile chemicals. Oh honey, your lady calls, would you be a dear and expose yourself to potentially life threatening compounds? It would be like sitting behind an exhaust pipe of a car for 250 miles, I'd be breathing in polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons, which the EPA says are "possible" (read: definitely) carcinogens and spewing as much CO2 as if I drove for 400 miles (avg. speed of 40mph).

I hate mowing the lawn.

The state of the lawn, in my mind, does not warrant the growling fury of the whirling gas powered blades. Since the grass turns brown towards the end of summer, it stops growing and just exists as a brown, slippery, dry layer over the dirt. It stops growing and doesn't need to be cut. But the dandelions don't stop growing, they grow abundantly, like an unfortunate skin disease, patchy and rough looking. It doesn't appear that we are downright neglectful of the house and yard, but above the lawn, the lion heads bob four to six inches off the ground, looking a bit like static; an appealing house with an attractive but fuzzy yard.

Please adjust your TV dial when viewing our house.